The Man Who Flew To Another Country For A Girl And Was Rejected

This story began on Instagram, when this random dude slid into my DM. After creeping his page, I decided right away that he wasn’t my type; however, I did entertain him and replied. I mean, answering his question of “where you from?” doesn’t really take that much effort, but I was not interested at all in our conversation; however, he was persistent. And I mean it when I say PERSISTENT. If I didn’t reply on instagram, he would message me on snapchat, and if I didn’t open his snaps right away, he would text me. I should’ve seen the red flags right then and there. However, his persistence got to me, and it made me notice him.

One night, I jokingly suggested he come to Canada for my birthday, but he ended up taking that joke seriously and a couple days later, he bought a ticket for the next month (not for my bday though). I was a little taken aback. I didn’t think he would actually travel from San Francisco to Canada just to see me, and not gonna lie, I was pretty touched since no guy has ever put that much effort for me. So, I began to be a lot more affectionate towards him after that because I was grateful. But that was when it went all wrong. He wanted to Facetime every night, constantly texting me, etc. And at that point, his “persistence” became an annoyance. I realize that that these actions could be taken as something sweet, but because I wasn’t attracted to him, that wasn’t the case. Even my friends thought he was too needy. Moreover, every time we Facetimed he would talk about sex and what he wanted to do sexually. Now that shit turns me off. Like when he said he wanted to cum inside me WITHOUT A CONDOM when I already told him I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but he kept insisting because he “probably won’t be able to hold it in” since he likes me so much. Ugh. Gross.

Anyways, I didn’t even want to have sex with him because I wasn’t attracted; however, I felt like because he bought the plane ticket, I was all of the sudden obligated to do whatever he wanted, and he reinforced that feeling as well. One conversation that made me lose all my respect for him was when I brought up the idea of not having sex at all, and he actually told me, “well you’re just going to have to reimburse me for my ticket“. HAHA. Asshole. To him, sex was the deal breaker which he kept denying when I pointed it out. I regretted ever feeling any fondness over the guy. So after that, I just didn’t put effort in replying or being affectionate, like I would even call myself a bitch with the way I treated him just so he would lose feelings and give up on me. And I actually told him, straight up, that I didn’t like him romantically. But he deluded himself with the idea that once we see each other in person, my feelings would instantly change.

D-Day came, and I was suppose to pick him up from the airport which I cancelled on him last minute because I knew his uncle was there to meet him as well and really, I would just be wasting gas. To be honest, I just didn’t want to meet him at all, but I felt bad because after all, he did fly out to Canada to see me. So, I still agreed to meet up with him later that day. I told him to invite his cousins to watch a movie with us since I really didn’t want to be alone with him. So, I went to pick them up, and he looked EXACTLY how I thought he would and was only an inch taller than me. Subconsciously, I wished he looked better than I thought then maybe he would’ve had a chance (yes, I am a shallow bitch). Anyways, so before we went to the movies, we all had a drink at a restaurant because apparently he doesn’t go to movies sober. At the restaurant, he made attempts to touch my leg which he did, but I would quickly move my leg out of his touch. And he never attempted after that. At the movies which by the way, we all paid individually, he texted me if he could hold my hand. My obvious answer? No. He didn’t really try anything else at the movies because his cousin was sitting right beside him, thank goodness. They invited me back to his relatives’ place where he was staying during his visit for another round of drinks, but I politely declined.

The morning after, we got into a huge argument over text that basically had me pulling the I-Have-A-Boyfriend card because I just couldn’t stand him anymore. He then he told me he hated me and implied I was a bitch with  “you’re a …“. Like, the fuck? He might as well just spelled it out. I did expect him to get angry though so I wasn’t surprised. But, after he raged at me, he still wanted hang out, and more for appearance sakes because he told everyone that he was coming to Canada for a girl which he shouldn’t have done because now he dug himself a hole, but no way was I going to be alone with a guy who just straight up told me he hated me. There’s no telling what he would do. A desperate man is a dangerous man. I told him that it wouldn’t make sense to see each other again, and that is how I rejected a guy who flew from another country just to see me.


I Tried Sexting, And It Turned Me On

My sexting virginity was taken recently by someone who I never expected, in a million years, I would do it with. I used to work with him in the summer, but we never really talked outside of work. I moved back home after that summer, so we’re like a couple provinces apart (yes, I live in Canada where we have provinces, not states). Anyways, almost a year later (a couple days ago), he just all of the sudden reached out to me, and we started to talk. We’ll call this guy Brennan, just to give him a name. So, I found out that Brennan had an interest in me back then which really surprised me because I thought I wasn’t his type. Moreover, he ended up getting a girlfriend during that summer (broke by the end of it). I mean, he wasn’t exactly my type either, but he did have some attractive features that caught my eye. He definitely was one of the better looking guys I worked with. Just a side note, this probably affected how we ended up getting sexual, but well, we we’re both drunk, so I was a lot more flirty, and didn’t really care too much with what I was saying. However, we didn’t start sexting until the next day, when we were both sober! I have never in my life sexted before, nor did I have any clue how to. Here’s how it started:

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You’ll notice that I did steer the convo towards the “sexual” direction. Not purposely, I just wanted to be funny. I’ll mention it now, that I probably did a lot of the initiating, but really not on purpose. Like I’ve actually never texted a guy this way before, even with guys I’ve hooked up with. So we continued with casual talk, and then I decide to tease him,

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Oh, if you haven’t noticed yet, but you probably already have, but Brennan use “aha” A LOT. I mean, it didn’t really bother me because to me “lol” and “aha” are almost like periods. They help end sentences with a lighter tone. Anyways, we sent selfies to each other because he apparently got a new haircut, and asked if I would like it. So, I told him to show me. Then he asked for a picture back. Nothing dirty though, just a selfie.

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Reading it again, I notice the excessive use of emojis. I really need to learn how to send texts without needing to use emojis every dam line. It’s still PG at this point. Although I say sexting, it was actually pretttty vanilla and quick, because I didn’t want to go too deep into it. I mean, it was my first time. I didn’t know what I was doing! You’ll get what I mean in a bit.

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He then passed the torch to me. I obviously did not know the art of sexting. I cringe reading at my answer. I could have done it so much more seductively.

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At this point, I really did not know how to approach it, so I decided to finish it on my end.

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I think it was the fact that I know him, yet we’re so far apart that I was comfortable saying things I normally never would. But what I learned from this experience is that it was fun, exciting, and not gonna lie, it definitely turned me on. If given the chance again, I would surely take it further. I think sexting has an art to it, and I want to learn it. Maybe it’s time to download Tinder again? For educational purposes.

What’s your experience with sexting? Any advice for inexperienced people like me?



We’re Exclusive But He Still Has Tinder

Valentines Day this year was probably the most different out of the past 19. The difference was that I actually had a guy to worry about. A guy I am– was exclusive with. I mention the past tense because I currently do not know where we stand. We’re still working it out.

A little bit of background info on this guy. We’ll call him Andrew. I met him off Tinder. Our first date was at Starbucks. He was not what I expected. Wasn’t really my type, but when he smiled, he was cute. Andrew was the first guy I’ve talked to everyday over text for more than a week. I thought he was boyfriend material; however, I knew we weren’t going to be anything but a “something” because he’s going to be deployed in a couple months. To be honest, I was willing to be that military girlfriend who waits for their boyfriend to come home. But I always doubted myself at the same time. Could I really wait 8 months? I should probably clarify that I started thinking about this like the first month we started “dating” each other. Yes, I was getting ahead of myself. I’ve never had a boyfriend before so I wasn’t really sure how this whole dating thing worked no matter how many times I asked google for advice. So I turn to my friends, they advised that I ask him where I stand with him. So I did, and it turned into the “exclusive” talk. We then both agreed we wanted to be exclusive with each other. THE END–

–NOT. Being exclusive does not necessarily mean bf/gf in this generation of dating. However, I did specifically ask him what exclusive meant. He told me “not seeing anyone else”. Sounds fair. Fast forward to now. I’ve been telling one of my good friend how I’ve been feeling really confused with my relationship with Andrew. So, when one of her friend was in town, she wanted to help me confirm my relationship by asking her visiting friend to find Andrew on Tinder– cause he still had it, even though we were “exclusive”– and see if he will start talking to her. Girls are the best detectives when it comes to men, okay. So, they easily found him. Low and behold, they matched. Here’s the first flag, they matched even though this visiting friend was just in town for a few hours…which meant, Andrew was still fcking active on Tinder. So active that when the visiting friend messaged him hey, Andrew replied within a minute. He flirted with her calling her beautiful and such and etcetera. The visiting friend tried to low-key ask him if he was seeing anyone at the moment (a.k.a. me), this is what he said:screen-shot-2017-02-18-at-2-22-32-pm

Yes, I cringe at his grammar mistake (past English Major here), but that’s another story. “Haven’t found anything exclusive yet”. Okay, there bud. Although, I’m surprised he did mention he had a “friend” which I conclude as me because I do travel a lot, and we have dinner often. But who knows, maybe he’s seeing someone else. I WOULDN’T KNOW. The visiting friend prodded him further:

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“I have, although situation dictated differently”? WTF. Speak english PLS. My friend and I were confused AF about what he was trying to say.  From my interpretation, he meant that he wanted to be exclusive, but maybe because of his situation he can’t? But that’s still stupid because if he was talking about me, from what we agreed on, we were exclusive. He just did not want to admit it because he wants to be available. And the final blow, “you got snapchat?”. That just confirmed how much of a fuck boy he is. I might be blowing the situation out of proportion, but if he really wanted to keep talking to girls, he shouldn’t have agreed to be exclusive. That’s what really pissed me off. I took that status more seriously, and put in more effort when he didn’t treat our relationship any differently when we first met.

To those who are in a similar situation, the advice I’m going to follow myself is to talk it out. I’m not going to confront him about why he still has Tinder, but I will ask him about what our relationship means to him because obviously, we’re not exclusive in his eyes. So good luck to all of us playing this dating game. Hope we all win in the end.