The Man Who Flew To Another Country And Was Rejected

This story began on Instagram, when this random dude slid into my DM. After creeping his page, I decided right away that he wasn’t my type; however, I did entertain him and replied. I mean, answering his question of “where you from?” doesn’t really take that much effort, but I was not interested at all in our conversation; however, he was persistent. And I mean it when I say PERSISTENT. If I didn’t reply on instagram, he would message me on snapchat, and if I didn’t open his snaps right away, he would text me. I should’ve seen the red flags right then and there. However, his persistence got to me, and it made me notice him.

One night, I jokingly suggested he come to Canada for my birthday, but he ended up taking that joke seriously and a couple days later, he bought a ticket for the next month (not for my bday though). I was a little taken aback. I didn’t think he would actually travel from San Francisco to Canada just to see me, and not gonna lie, I was pretty touched since no guy has ever put that much effort for me. So, I began to be a lot more affectionate towards him after that because I was grateful. But that was when it went all wrong. He wanted to Facetime every night, constantly texting me, etc. And at that point, his “persistence” became an annoyance. I realize that that these actions could be taken as something sweet, but because I wasn’t attracted to him, that wasn’t the case. Even my friends thought he was too needy. Moreover, every time we Facetimed he would talk about sex and what he wanted to do sexually. Now that shit turns me off. Like when he said he wanted to cum inside me WITHOUT A CONDOM when I already told him I wasn’t comfortable with the idea, but he kept insisting because he “probably won’t be able to hold it in” since he likes me so much. Ugh. Gross.

Anyways, I didn’t even want to have sex with him because I wasn’t attracted; however, I felt like because he bought the plane ticket, I was all of the sudden obligated to do whatever he wanted, and he reinforced that feeling as well. One conversation that made me lose all my respect for him was when I brought up the idea of not having sex at all, and he actually told me, “well you’re just going to have to reimburse me for my ticket”. HAHA. Asshole. To him, sex was the deal breaker which he kept denying when I pointed it out. I regretted ever feeling any fondness over the guy. So after that, I just didn’t put effort in replying or being affectionate, like I would even call myself a bitch with the way I treated him just so he would lose feelings and give up on me. And I actually told him, straight up, that I didn’t like him romantically. But he deluded himself with the idea that once we see each other in person, my feelings would instantly change.

D-Day came, and I was suppose to pick him up from the airport which I cancelled on him last minute because I knew his uncle was there to meet him as well and really, I would just be wasting gas. To be honest, I just didn’t want to meet him at all, but I felt bad because after all, he did fly out to Canada to see me. So, I still agreed to meet up with him later that day. I told him to invite his cousins to watch a movie with us since I really didn’t want to be alone with him. So, I went to pick them up, and he looked EXACTLY how I thought he would and was only an inch taller than me. Subconsciously, I wished he looked better than I thought then maybe he would’ve had a chance (yes, I am a shallow bitch). Anyways, so before we went to the movies, we all had a drink at a restaurant because apparently he doesn’t go to movies sober. At the restaurant, he made attempts to touch my leg which he did, but I would quickly move my leg out of his touch. And he never attempted after that. At the movies which by the way, we all paid individually, he texted me if he could hold my hand. My obvious answer? No. He didn’t really try anything else at the movies because his cousin was sitting right beside him, thank goodness. They invited me back to his relatives’ place where he was staying during his visit for another round of drinks, but I politely declined. The morning after, we got into a huge argument over text that basically had me pulling the I-Have-A-Boyfriend card because I just couldn’t stand him anymore. He then he told me he hated me and implied I was a bitch with  “you’re a …”. Like, the fuck? He might as well just spelled it out. I did expect him to get angry though so I wasn’t surprised. But, after he raged at me, he still wanted hang out, and more for appearance sakes because he told everyone that he was coming to Canada for a girl which he shouldn’t have done because now he dug himself a hole, but no way was I going to be alone with a guy who just straight up told me he hated me. There’s no telling what he would do. A desperate man is a dangerous man. I told him that it wouldn’t make sense to see each other again, and that is how I rejected a guy who flew from another country just to see me.

He’s in the FriendZone, but Am I Starting To Like Him?

There’s a guy I’ve recently been hanging out with due to our love for eating. We’ll call him Michael. So, Michael and I have been eating together at restaurants a lot this month. He would usually invite me for to go out and eat. Although I’m a broke-ass student, I hate to refuse an invite to eat out, plus I like hanging out with Michael because he’s one of my only guy friends. I’ve never really had one before, so I find this friendship pretty special. He’s a sweet guy with a lot of consideration. Husband-material, really. I’ve never been so comfortable around a guy, like the time we went to watch a movie and then ate wings after. I ate wings with my fingers. Saucy, honey garlic wings. If you don’t get the picture yet, I was messy. That’s something I would never show to a guy unless I’m really comfortable with him. So why haven’t I asked him to be my boyfriend yet if he’s such a potential? Good question.

If you don’t know what the friendzone is, well, you don’t want to be in it. The friendzone is really hard to get out of. A guy lands himself in the friendzone for many things. I friendzoned Michael because he’s not my type. Appearance-wise. Yes, it’s a shallow reason, but it’s an important factor for me. If I’m not physically attracted to a person, it’s really difficult for me to like them romantically; however, I’m starting to doubt myself. The more I hang out with him, I end up thinking about our fun times together at the end of the day. His personality is really winning me over. Not only that, but he’s got a rich, RICH, background. Someone who can afford to stay at a 6-star hotel for a week, has his own beach cottage, three limited-edition luxury cars, you get the point. I’m not a gold digger, but that puts me at awe. Like I said I’m no gold digger, and so even with such affluence, I can’t see myself with him because there’s still that wall. The friendzone wall. And it’s definitely sturdier than The Walls (sup, Attack of Titan fans).

I think this is why I end up dating terrible guys because here I am with a guy that is such boyfriend material, but I refuse to acknowledge him past the status of friends because he’s not my type. I do pity anyone in the friendzone right now. It’s a challenge to overcome the wall, but I do plead you guys to please be like the dam Titans and break the walls to pieces so girls like me wont be able to ignore you anymore.


What would you do to get out of the friendzone?

LUNA

I Tried Sexting, And It Turned Me On

My sexting virginity was taken recently by someone who I never expected, in a million years, I would do it with. I used to work with him in the summer, but we never really talked outside of work. I moved back home after that summer, so we’re like a couple provinces apart (yes, I live in Canada where we have provinces, not states). Anyways, almost a year later (a couple days ago), he just all of the sudden reached out to me, and we started to talk. We’ll call this guy Brennan, just to give him a name. So, I found out that Brennan had an interest in me back then which really surprised me because I thought I wasn’t his type. Moreover, he ended up getting a girlfriend during that summer (broke by the end of it). I mean, he wasn’t exactly my type either, but he did have some attractive features that caught my eye. He definitely was one of the better looking guys I worked with. Just a side note, this probably affected how we ended up getting sexual, but well, we we’re both drunk, so I was a lot more flirty, and didn’t really care too much with what I was saying. However, we didn’t start sexting until the next day, when we were both sober! I have never in my life sexted before, nor did I have any clue how to. Here’s how it started:

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You’ll notice that I did steer the convo towards the “sexual” direction. Not purposely, I just wanted to be funny. I’ll mention it now, that I probably did a lot of the initiating, but really not on purpose. Like I’ve actually never texted a guy this way before, even with guys I’ve hooked up with. So we continued with casual talk, and then I decide to tease him,

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Oh, if you haven’t noticed yet, but you probably already have, but Brennan use “aha” A LOT. I mean, it didn’t really bother me because to me “lol” and “aha” are almost like periods. They help end sentences with a lighter tone. Anyways, we sent selfies to each other because he apparently got a new haircut, and asked if I would like it. So, I told him to show me. Then he asked for a picture back. Nothing dirty though, just a selfie.

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Reading it again, I notice the excessive use of emojis. I really need to learn how to send texts without needing to use emojis every dam line. It’s still PG at this point. Although I say sexting, it was actually pretttty vanilla and quick, because I didn’t want to go too deep into it. I mean, it was my first time. I didn’t know what I was doing! You’ll get what I mean in a bit.

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He then passed the torch to me. I obviously did not know the art of sexting. I cringe reading at my answer. I could have done it so much more seductively.

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At this point, I really did not know how to approach it, so I decided to finish it on my end.

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I think it was the fact that I know him, yet we’re so far apart that I was comfortable saying things I normally never would. But what I learned from this experience is that it was fun, exciting, and not gonna lie, it definitely turned me on. If given the chance again, I would surely take it further. I think sexting has an art to it, and I want to learn it. Maybe it’s time to download Tinder again? For educational purposes.


What’s your experience with sexting? Any advice for inexperienced people like me?

LUNA

 

10 Qualities I Want in a Man

Spring is here, but not for me. No new love has blossomed in my life. In actuality, the guy I’ve been seeing for the past 3 months has quietly disappeared from my life (no, I didn’t kill him, and bury his body in the woods; we just ended up ghosting each other I guess). I really don’t know if it’s the spring air, but for some reason, I see couples everywhere, and I am constantly reminded of my non-existent boyfriend. I’m turning 21 this year, but my boyfriend count is still  at zero. I want to believe I’m just a late bloomer, and like everyone’s been telling me, I just haven’t found the right guy yet. But I mean, I’m pretty good at Find Waldo; I wish those skills could be applied in the real world where my potential boyfriend can be easily spotted in a red and white striped long sleeve and a matching toque.

To be honest, I think my problem is that I have high standards, and I don’t want to settle. I’m going to try listing my standards because I’ve actually never sat down and wrote a list. By doing this, I hope I understand myself I little bit more, and what I really want from a guy. In my opinion, here are the qualities that make a guy boyfriend material, in no particular order:

Decisive: someone who can make quick decision and plans because I’m indecisive (it’s a problem).

 Humour: I’m pretty serious myself. I want someone who can make me laugh. I hate perverted jokes though. Ugh, turn off.

Good sense of fashion: I’m not looking for a guy that looks like he just walked on a runway, but I do appreciate if they know current trends and make the effort to have a style.

Toned Arms: I love the feeling of solid arms. Not necessarily super buff, but just firm.

Works Out/Plays Sports: shows that he is not lazy.

Good Son: The way he treats his family will say a lot about him. So if he treats his mother well, that’s always a great quality. No mama’s boy though.

Respectful: I have no tolerance for rude people. Having manners and knowing basic etiquette is so attractive.

Money: Don’t go on dates when you’re broke. I’m no golddigger, but I do want someone who can support himself and has the means to support me as well.

Comfort: A guy I can be comfortable with eating fried chicken using my hands. Someone who makes me feel pretty even in my au naturale state.

Grammar: I’m a hypocrite by listing this because I’m not perfect with grammar either, but I CAN NOT STAND bad grammar. I tried dating a guy who couldn’t tell the difference between “to” and “too”. Overall, he just didn’t seem to know his basic grammar! I couldn’t look past it. I would even try to correct him, but to no avail.

If anyone knows someone who has all these qualities, PLEASE, call me, maybe?


Let me know what qualities you look for in your significant other!

LUNA

5 Reasons I Don’t Want To See Him Anymore

There are many reasons why a girl will no longer want to see a guy she’s been dating. Whether it’s a guy she’s been seeing for a week , or even one who she’s been with for years, a girl can suddenly just drop a guy and never want to see his face again. In my case, I’ve been seeing a guy for three months now. We are in a non-exclusive relationship, but no, we are not just fwb (friends-with-benefits) either. I have found myself feeling disinterested in Andrew (the guy I’m currently dating) and no longer am excited to see him. I haven’t seen Andrew for over a week due to his training out of the city. He recently came back, and I have not an ounce of  inclination to suggest meeting up. After thinking about it this past few days, I’ve come up with reasons to my detachment. Here are my top 5 reasons to why I don’t want to see the guy I’m dating:

1. Boring Text Conversations

I hate our text conversations. I HATE THEM. They’re so dull and mundane. His texts don’t interest me in any way, and they’re so difficult to respond back to. His texts are so predictable…he’s predictable. He usually will ask me how my day is, and I would tell him the most interesting points of my day so he has something to feed off of. However, I feel like he honestly doesn’t care what I did because he would reply back “nice! :)” or “that’s awesome :)”, general answers with no effort. It makes me not want to tell him about my day when I know exactly what he’s going to reply back. Then, when I ask him about his day, again, I already know what he’s going to say, “Good. Just finished supper. Going to workout now”. Along those lines anyways, but it’s honestly the same thing over and over again. I don’t know, is he just a boring person? The way we’re texting right now does not make me look forward to seeing him. I don’t wish for crazy philosophical replies, but I just want conversations that have a little bit more substance.

2. No Commitment

Being in a non-exclusive relationship, I don’t take the relationship as seriously, nor do I want exert more effort than I need to. I used to put A LOT of effort in the beginning thinking it might go somewhere, but if you’ve read my other posts, you will be aware why Andrew and I’s relationship will not go anywhere. So we are forever in this state of no titles, but we are still going on dates. But no, we are not just fuckbuddies; I’m not his 2 am booty call (efff that). We are actually going on legit dates, and we don’t fuck everytime we see each other; however, due to the fact that I know he’s not my boyfriend, I don’t prioritize him over my friends, and I wouldn’t feel hurt if we simply don’t see each other anymore.

3. Not My Type

From the start I knew he wasn’t my type. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not ugly at all. He’s pretty cute with a FINE body. So there definitely is a physical attraction. However, he really doesn’t fit MY type. As shallow as it sounds, he’s not someone I would proudly want to show off to my friends. Why I’m dating him? He has a nice personality; a gentleman. He treats me better than any guys I’ve dated. But, I just can’t seem to be satisfied because he’s not what I’m exactly looking for, and it’s really hard to settle.

4. Don’t See Each Other Often

He’s a very busy person compare to me. Andrew works 5 days a week and works out 3 times a day. We find it hard to make time for each other during the day, so we usually meet up late nights when there really isn’t anything to do aside from watching movies at a theatre or going to a bar. So our time together isn’t really that exciting. On average, we only see each other once a week right now. In the beginning, we would meet up two to three times a week. On one hand, I couldn’t care more to meet up, but on the other hand, I think that’s why I’m drifting away from him. The fact that I can tolerate not seeing him for long periods of time makes me feel like I would be okay not seeing him anymore.

5. My Low Self-Esteem

I gained weight. I’m definitely not as small as I used to be three months ago (blame it on unemployment, school, and rice). Andrew works out everyday. EVERY SINGLE DAY. Working out and being fit to him is important. I, on the other hand, hate working out. Anyways, long story short, I gain more fat everyday while he gains more muscle. I don’t want him to see me in such a slum state. Therefore, unless I lose 10 lbs, I don’t want to see him anytime soon. I don’t have the confidence to. Currently, I think this is the biggest factor to why I really don’t want to see him anymore.


Let me know some of your reason to why you wouldn’t want to see your significant other anymore. Thanks for reading!

LUNA

We’re Exclusive But He Still Has Tinder

Valentines Day this year was probably the most different out of the past 19. The difference was that I actually had a guy to worry about. A guy I am– was exclusive with. I mention the past tense because I currently do not know where we stand. We’re still working it out.

A little bit of background info on this guy. We’ll call him Andrew. I met him off Tinder. Our first date was at Starbucks. He was not what I expected. Wasn’t really my type, but when he smiled, he was cute. Andrew was the first guy I’ve talked to everyday over text for more than a week. I thought he was boyfriend material; however, I knew we weren’t going to be anything but a “something” because he’s going to be deployed in a couple months. To be honest, I was willing to be that military girlfriend who waits for their boyfriend to come home. But I always doubted myself at the same time. Could I really wait 8 months? I should probably clarify that I started thinking about this like the first month we started “dating” each other. Yes, I was getting ahead of myself. I’ve never had a boyfriend before so I wasn’t really sure how this whole dating thing worked no matter how many times I asked google for advice. So I turn to my friends, they advised that I ask him where I stand with him. So I did, and it turned into the “exclusive” talk. We then both agreed we wanted to be exclusive with each other. THE END–

–NOT. Being exclusive does not necessarily mean bf/gf in this generation of dating. However, I did specifically ask him what exclusive meant. He told me “not seeing anyone else”. Sounds fair. Fast forward to now. I’ve been telling one of my good friend how I’ve been feeling really confused with my relationship with Andrew. So, when one of her friend was in town, she wanted to help me confirm my relationship by asking her visiting friend to find Andrew on Tinder– cause he still had it, even though we were “exclusive”– and see if he will start talking to her. Girls are the best detectives when it comes to men, okay. So, they easily found him. Low and behold, they matched. Here’s the first flag, they matched even though this visiting friend was just in town for a few hours…which meant, Andrew was still fcking active on Tinder. So active that when the visiting friend messaged him hey, Andrew replied within a minute. He flirted with her calling her beautiful and such and etcetera. The visiting friend tried to low-key ask him if he was seeing anyone at the moment (a.k.a. me), this is what he said:screen-shot-2017-02-18-at-2-22-32-pm

Yes, I cringe at his grammar mistake (past English Major here), but that’s another story. “Haven’t found anything exclusive yet”. Okay, there bud. Although, I’m surprised he did mention he had a “friend” which I conclude as me because I do travel a lot, and we have dinner often. But who knows, maybe he’s seeing someone else. I WOULDN’T KNOW. The visiting friend prodded him further:

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“I have, although situation dictated differently”? WTF. Speak english PLS. My friend and I were confused AF about what he was trying to say.  From my interpretation, he meant that he wanted to be exclusive, but maybe because of his situation he can’t? But that’s still stupid because if he was talking about me, from what we agreed on, we were exclusive. He just did not want to admit it because he wants to be available. And the final blow, “you got snapchat?”. That just confirmed how much of a fuck boy he is. I might be blowing the situation out of proportion, but if he really wanted to keep talking to girls, he shouldn’t have agreed to be exclusive. That’s what really pissed me off. I took that status more seriously, and put in more effort when he didn’t treat our relationship any differently when we first met.

To those who are in a similar situation, the advice I’m going to follow myself is to talk it out. I’m not going to confront him about why he still has Tinder, but I will ask him about what our relationship means to him because obviously, we’re not exclusive in his eyes. So good luck to all of us playing this dating game. Hope we all win in the end.

 

What the Fuck Does EXCLUSIVE Mean?

In this day and age, dating has become more confusing than ever. Nothing is straightforward anymore. Everyone is playing cat and mouse, push and pull, and etcetera. But the most elusive term I find in this generation of dating is the status of being “exclusive“.

Urban Dictionary defines exclusive as “The state of being in a relationship with someone where you are officially boyfriend and girlfriend, and there is no-one else involved. Usually attained after going on a couple of good dates with someone“. According to the site, this is the top definition of exclusive; however, just scroll down a smidge and you will find a second definition: “The state of being with one person, and only one person, without labeling yourselves as boyfriend and girlfriend“. So, even after consulting with the dictionary for millennials, I was more confused than ever. The two definitions are similar in that the relationship is between two people and no one else, but the other without an official title. So basically, the second definition of  exclusive is being boyfriend/girlfriend just without the commitment that comes with that title. I CALL BULLSHIT. It is a frustrating term to define because it makes relationships so much more ambiguous than they should be. Take my friend’s story for an example. She was seeing this guy for a couple months, and one day, the guy tried to get into her pants, but before anything happened, she told him she wasn’t going to have sex with him unless he was her boyfriend. So, later on, the guy asked her to be exclusive. Being new to the dating world, she immediately thought that term meant they were bf/gf, and so, they had sex. However, skip a month later, the guy texts her:

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My friend was pissed. She thought that she made it clear that he can’t have sex with her unless he was her boyfriend, but apparently, they weren’t on the same page. Anyways, long story short, he did ask her to be her girlfriend eventually, and they are still together. Morale of this story? The definition of exclusive depends on the person. I especially find that more guys tend to define exclusivity as a relationship with all the benefits of a bf/gf relationship just without the official title. Maybe because they are afraid to commit? *cough* fuckboys *cough*

A personal example, I am dating a guy who I am exclusive with. Why I’m writing this blog post? Specifically because I have this dilemma of not know what my relationship with him actually is. When we agreed to be exclusive, I actually did ask him what exclusive means, and he told me “not seeing anybody else”. OKAY. Great definition. So precise, I don’t even need to google it…FUCK THAT. Right after I got home, I googled and read a handful of articles debating the status of “exclusive”. Similar to Urban Dictionary, many of these articles debated exclusive as being official bf/gf and exclusive as a status that doesn’t have such titles. So how will I ever come into conclusion to where I stand with this guy I’m dating? Well, I’m planning to just be straight up ask my guy if we are boyfriend/girlfriend, and not over text, but in person. I think that’s when I will truly get a satisfying confirmation.

To those who are in a similar confused state as I am, I advice to do the same because trying to figure it out on my own left me more confused, and it actually led me to doubt the guy I’m seeing. So, I hope, to all the confused souls out there, that we can overcome this ambiguous term of “exclusivity” and have solid relationships. Good lucks!